Who am I? This question is one we all have faced at least once, and from many different sources. Since elementary school, when I was asked to write about myself and my family, I have disliked self-reflection. I think this was partly because I didn’t have the vocabulary and mainly because I was afraid of the consequences of being honest about who I am. Let’s get to the point. I’m not capable of phlegmatic emotion. I get asked all the time, “Are your feelings upset?” “Why don’t you get excited about everything?” And my answer is “I don’t.” I have never felt grief. My grandfather passed away when I was nine years old. My parents told me that my grandfather had died the night before. I said nothing, looked at my dad, and then said, “OK, okay, you look upset about this.” This wasn’t just because I was too young to understand. I had other family members die in the same room as my best friends and never felt sad. Because if I lose my emotional strength, then everything will fall apart.
I had a low self-esteem in the beginning. My friends had very high self-esteems, so naturally I assumed a superficially high self-esteem. As time went by, my self-esteem rose and I became borderline narcissistic. Although I’m self-conscious and obsessive about my appearance and how it looks, this doesn’t mean I don’t care about caring about other people. To not be contradictory, I also feel that I don’t view caring as an emotion, but as a natural instinct.
When I’m not with my “squad”, I feel uncomfortable. These situations are when I tend to “bubble” and avoid conversation. I enjoy watching people and waiting until I feel I have something to offer the group before I join in. When this bubble is broken, either by someone inviting me to a conversation or coming up, I’m outgoing, and some might even call me funny.
I am a leader. I’m a piece of coal in the world of rocks. When pressure is high, most people crack, but I shine. I will not refuse to take over a situation if it means that I can help someone or a group. This is something that I’ve learned recently about myself. When I am in charge, I feel a certain aura about myself. It is the same aura that Nelson Mandela and Hitler had. Those who can still attract followers despite having a seemingly futile platform. When I am in charge, there is something that requires respect and obedience from me. Even though I am a passive and non-confrontational person, it is not difficult to be respectful and obey.
Who am I? This is a question I should ask myself every day. I see myself as an individual, with a body, soul, and who I am. I make mistakes, cry, laugh, hurt, smile, and love. My life is filled with meaningful relationships and memorable moments. My family supports me, loves me, and encourages my progress. I am a highly ambitious person with big dreams for myself and my family. I would like to be an accountant one day. I don’t know why, but I do want to keep and count large amounts of money and the high salary. I like to set goals. Maybe it’s to start my own business or to become a Certified Public Accountant.
Due to school work, it is sometimes impossible for me to go on gala with my college friends. Even though we don’t have the money to pay for college, my parents made it possible to get me in. This is all for me as a way to grow and be a better person. Although I make mistakes, I am willing to learn from them. I laugh so much, but I’m also very soft-hearted and can cry at even the smallest things. I am kind and compassionate by nature. I don’t try to hurt anyone. I do have an attitude problem. I get angry easily without any reason. I enjoy reading books. I also enjoy watching dramas and animes. I love volleyball and have made many friends on the field with my opponents. Despite being busy with my work, I still enjoy playing guitar and drawing, especially when it is raining. Online gaming is something that interests me as well. I have been assigned all house chores throughout my life. I am the oldest daughter so I will do everything.
My school, my family, and my purpose in life are my greatest joys. I want to do good for my family. I consider life a great gift from God. Therefore, I am a person who values time and works hard to achieve my goals. As you know, success and failure are closely linked to one’s successes and losses. Anyone who succeeds today will have lost something yesterday. There is no successful person without both success and failure. This means that even if I fail many times, it will make me stronger. I am a hardworking person who is always trying to improve and improvise until I achieve the success I want. All of this is a reflection of WHO I am.